Jenniferthewhalebreeder?

Jennifer the whale breeder...
I really don't know where I came up with it but I used to have a myspace account and I put my career as whale breeder. Interesting job choice. Well, no one else that I know of has it, it's a good conversation starter, it's got a nice ring to it and I make fantastic whale noises.
One time while I was in Cape Breton I saw a whale washed up on the beach. Vomit.
It's Jenn with two N's. When people put one N it reminds me of a cadaverous blonde woman with a short bob style haircut, wearing an ugly pink zip up sweater who is a presbyterian stay at home mother of two. I don't know why. Maybe I'm being childish but, I don't really care. It's my name, I have to live with it forever.
Okay, so the name Jennifer. I had a dream the other night and in it I was a man, I forget my name but it's irrelevant. I am a man on the show, Project Runway and we have to hand sew these dresses and I won't have ample time. I have this elf that no one knows about that lives in my pocket and he sews it secretly for me. So it's judging time and the other contestants are all yelling at me, saying I cheated and someone else sewed it for me. And in the dream these mini pocket elves are a part of their owner and if they die, their owner dies and vice versa. When people ask about these elves you can only lie one time and if someone asks their name you can say whatever you want but whatever name you say dies. For example is you say, Saturn, Saturn will fall from space and explode. If you say, Susan, all the susans in the world will die and et cetera. So I( the man) am new to having this elf and I barely know the rules. The judges say, " How did you do it?" and I say, " A leprechaun" and laugh. That was my lie. Then they say "no, how did you actually do it?"and I can't lie so, I say, " A mini pocket elf" and they say, " Oh a pocket elf? What was the name?" and I am on the spot and I don't understand the rules so I say, "Jennifer." The next day the news paper headline is " 76 million dead. All by the name of Jennifer!" and then I forget the rest.

Until next time, Ciao.
Jennifer The Whale Breeder